Here's Where To Start If You Just Got Engaged

Getting engaged is exciting, emotional, and (if we’re being honest) a little overwhelming. One moment you’re celebrating a major life milestone, and the next you’re fielding questions about dates, venues, colors, and guest counts...and those distant relatives and acquaintances that assume they're invited. Social media, well-meaning family members, and wedding blogs can make it feel like you should already be deep into planning before you event get engaged.

Here’s the truth on where to start if you just got engaged: you don’t need to have anything figured out yet.

Before you open a hundred browser tabs or start pinning everything in sight, taking a thoughtful, intentional approach at the beginning will make the entire process smoother, less stressful, and far more enjoyable. If you’re wondering where to start if you just got engaged, start here.

Photography: Photography by Avery, Draping: FH Events & Design, Venue: Museum of the American Arts & Crafts Movement

Slow Down and Actually Enjoy Being Engaged

This season only happens once, and it deserves to be experienced, not rushed through. Engagement is a transition period, not a to-do list. Before turning it into a project, give yourselves permission to simply enjoy it.

Celebrate privately before celebrating publicly. Go out for a nice dinner. Maybe Boulon Brasserie or Bern's Steakhouse? Take a weekend away. We suggest The St. Regis Longboat Key, The Gasparilla Inn, or The Tampa EDITION. Or just sit on the couch and talk about what this next chapter looks like without trying to solve anything.

Couples often feel pressure to “get moving” immediately, but planning decisions made too quickly are often revisited later. Slowing down at the beginning allows you to make decisions from a place of clarity instead of urgency. Wedding planning will naturally take up space soon enough so there’s no need to rush it.

Venue: College Hall at New College of Florida, Photography: Destiny Jasett Photography

Get on the Same Page as a Couple

Before spreadsheets, tours, or Pinterest boards, the most important alignment happens between the two

of you. Talk openly about what you want this planning experience and wedding day to feel like.

Some helpful questions to discuss early:

• Do we envision something intimate or more traditional?

• What parts of the wedding matter most to each of us?

• How involved do we want to be in planning?

• Are there any must-have's or absolutely-not's?

  
  

These conversations don’t need final answers, but they establish a shared vision. When decisions come up later, you’ll be able to refer back to what you agreed was important, making it much easier to move forward confidently.

Understand Why a Wedding Planner Exists (Even If You’re Not Hiring One Yet)

This isn’t about selling you on anything, it’s about understanding the role. A wedding planner isn’t just someone who shows up on the wedding day or helps pick out décor. Planners are strategic guides who help couples make informed decisions in the correct order.

A planner’s value often includes:

• Translating ideas into realistic plans

• Helping you understand what actually drives costs

• Creating a planning roadmap so nothing is rushed or overlooked

• Preventing costly mistakes or unnecessary stress

  
  

Even if you don’t hire a planner right away - or at all - thinking like one can completely change how smoothly your planning unfolds. Many couples wait until they’re overwhelmed before seeking guidance, only to realize how helpful it would have been earlier in the process.

Photography: Photography by Avery, Draping: FH Events & Design, Venue: Museum of the American Arts & Crafts Movement, Florals: The Revel Co.

Determine a Comfortable, Realistic Budget

Before touring venues or reaching out to vendors, you need a financial framework. Your budget isn’t just a number, it’s a reflection of priorities, comfort level, and expectations.

When starting this conversation, consider:

• Who is contributing financially, and what expectations come with that?

• Are there specific areas you want to prioritize more heavily?

• What overall range feels comfortable without adding stress?

  
  

You don’t need a line-by-line breakdown yet, but having a realistic range will immediately narrow your options and prevent disappointment later. Nearly every major decision from your venue, guest count, and location will be influenced by this step.

Establish a General Guest Count

You don’t need a finalized guest list, but you do need a working estimate. The difference between 75 guests and 175 guests impacts far more than seating charts. It affects budget, venue options, catering style, and overall logistics to name a few.

Start by discussing:

• Immediate family and must-invite guests

• Whether you’re leaning toward an intimate or larger celebration

• Any cultural or family expectations that may influence numbers

  
  

Think of this as creating a flexible range rather than a fixed number. Having even a rough estimate will help you make smarter, more aligned decisions as you move forward.

Choose a Location or Region - Not a Venue

One of the most common mistakes couples make is falling in love with a venue before understanding whether it truly fits their vision, guest count, or budget. Instead of starting with specific venues, zoom out first.

Ask yourselves:

• Do we want to stay local or plan a destination wedding?

• How important is accessibility for guests?

• What kind of setting feels right - urban, coastal, countryside?

  
  

Once you’ve chosen a general region, venue research becomes far more focused and manageable. You’ll avoid spending time on options that were never realistic to begin with and make decisions with far more confidence.

Venue: The Vinoy Resort & Golf Club

Be Selective About Outside Input

Once you’re engaged, advice will come from everywhere - friends, family, social media, and strangers online. While some input can be helpful, too much too early can quickly become overwhelming.

Set gentle boundaries around whose opinions matter most during this stage. Not every suggestion requires action, and not every comment needs to influence your plans. Staying grounded in your priorities will make the process feel more enjoyable and far less chaotic.

Final Thought

Wedding planning doesn’t need to be rushed to be successful. In fact, the most seamless weddings usually come from couples who take the time to build a strong foundation before diving into details.

Slow down. Get aligned. Make intentional decisions.

When you approach planning this way, everything else tends to fall into place naturally.

Finished with all of these tips?

Reach out to us and let's get the wedding planning started!